Husband Asks Wife What She Would Like For Birthday

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to

be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite lolly and M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get

it wrong.

Son Asks Dad To Help With Homework

Sam: Dad, would you do my math homework for me?

Dad: No, son, it wouldn’t be right.

Sam: Well, at least you could try.

The Blond Found An Old Family Bible.

A blond found an old family Bible in the attic. When she opened it, a large pressed leaf fell out. “Aha!” she said, “Adam must have left his clothes here.”

A Guy Pulls Over For An Ambulance

A guy was coming home from work in the city,
driving country roads to get home. He looks in
his rear view mirror and sees an ambulance. He
pulls over and as the ambulance passes, he sees
the the back door is open a little. The ambulance
goes over a bump and out falls an ice chest. The
guy rushes over to the ice chest and opens it up.
Inside is a human toe in the ice. He sees he
can't catch the ambulance so he gets in his car
and rushes to the nearest gas station to call 911.
They tell him they will send a car right away but
that all of their patrol cars are in use and to
just wait 20 minutes. So he waits 20 minutes
until the tow truck shows up.

The Butcher And The Lawyer

A butcher saw a Lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him: Atty., what would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat? Lawyer replied: why? of course, I’ll make the owner pay for it! The butcher said: If that is so, now you owe me $15 because it is your dog. The Lawyer replied: very well, just deduct the $15 from the $25 you owe me for the advice, I’ll collect the remaining $10 the next time I pass by here.